Open Arms

Show me the way

I live with mask of sin and be tormented by its apology

Strive within my own judge

I, the one who convinced your follower

Accept my impulsive unconsciousness thoughts, utterances and deeds of everyday

Send me your angel to reach my soul and drag me away from loads of burdensome

Me not but take control of me

Against my power that trapped me down into black hole of fall

Forgive and raise me up.

Don’t let them break my soul.

As I know You’re my strength

You’re my shelter, my joy and never let me down

who heal my burnt wounded err with your abundant gracious love

turns cold as white as snow so I can see your open arms..

KL, January 31, 2014

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Hopes…

Unforeseen Blessings

Unforeseen Blessings (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I like the title on my Blog, I feel fresh every time I read it, 3 words but magical words that turning me on every circumstance I feel in my life. Whenever I am down, count the blessings, whenever I am blissful, count the blessings, whenever I am anxious, count the blessings, whenever I am mad of the situation, count the blessings. We count the blessings that we have from God, we count every single thing that God gave. We count every blessing every tiny and small thing in our life that make us feel positive. If we feel blessed means we believe that God’s love is never ending. God will never give blessings only once in a lifetime, but His abundant love is dripping anytime whenever hope is impossible, whenever we’re lost or failed.

We were born safely into this world was a blessing. God even has  plan for us before we came into this world, every single day we got uncountable nourishment, love and affection from our parents, family, friends. We’re changing apparently, we’re growing up independently, we can take care our self, having relationship with others, we can serve others too, it’s not merely our strength, but His blessings are always working on us.

I understand people will feel abandoned by God in a period of time, I felt the same too. There’s a time I felt not feeling well, and what I could do just pray while I laid down on my bed, I even couldn’t lift up my hands, I couldn’t grab my Bible to look up His verses. I seems lees motivation when I was sick. It seems I was sinking in a dream that I even not realized whether I was in real life or not, especially with the big thought of problems I got. I was thinking of my kids that needed someone helping them out in their study for their exam, how was their meal, who was gonna take care of their uniform. I asked God for strength, but before that I tried to say thank that God has been so perseverance to me so far. I tried to remember the past when God’s helping hands around me where there was no hope, I tried to memorize things that I felt that  it was all God’s miracles on me to accumulate my strength to keep me believe in Him, so I could pray to Him with faith, instead of complaining of what He’s been offered on our life. Finally, I could find strength in Him to always believe in  Him so I can pray with faith and always be thankful to Him.

And what’s the next, as I read the book of Nick Vujicic “Unstoppable”, I really pondered more the power of faith in action. As we recognize that God gives His blessing onto us, is not only be there, but it is supposed to be put in action and practiced many many times. We pray in faith, and do what we believe. Sometimes we feel I don’t believe something we can’t see, but we have witnessed His wonderful miracles in plenty occasions in our life in the past. It had tested us to put trust on His great love. Same as Nick Fujicic parents, they grieved for the perfectly formed child they’d envisioned but didn’t receive. But they gave up their attempts to understand why God had given them such a child without limbs. Instead, they surrendered to His plan, whatever it might be, and what they could do is raising him as the best they could with love, because they know God’s love in their life. The result was amazing, Nick Fujicic has grown up and he finally becomes a great author and motivational speaker that God had planned for Him through situation seemed unwanted for normal people could receive, but never impossible for Him to open the world’s eyes looking for hope and achievement in this life, especially through hardship or difficult situation.

We need to focus not on our problem but put our vision on Him, so we can see the lights of hope that leads us to an open door. Whatever life may offer you or whatever difficult the situation is, just surrender to Him, put your trust on Him. Don’t forget to recall His blessings since you came into this world until present time. You’ll know that God really loves you, always be with you, and you’ll never be alone because there’s always a hope in God, our Creator.

God Bless You!

KL, Dec 10, 2013

 

 

 

 

 

 

God’s Precious Presents

Thank you God for today, I feel blessed with two kids 4 and 6 year older. Apparently, You hear my prayer and You have Your own way to preserve my kids. In previous time, I wished I could have seen something extraordinary from my kids, the fact I could have not seen something from my kids as how other parents discover their children with so many talents and gifts on their children, show to people how smart their kids are, despite I’d been through so many smirks, ridicules and rumors about my innocent kids, but I knew you’d taken care of my kids, so I supposed not to be afraid of what he will be, and what people said about my kids.

I do apologize God because at that time I tended to look down my kids as I look at other kids at the same age as my kids while I knew that one of my kids got delay and slower than average age as him, and I even forgot to thank that he obtained every little pace of milestones; step by step that he got while he was slow but finally I’ve perceived this as a remarkable progress that I had no doubt it was from You. I know that You had made every child wonderfully with his own talent and gift. Help me God to be a good parent who is able to help nurturing their talent and everything You gave them. You trust us to raise them in Your faith and spirit and  we help them grow to be blessings in order that He’ll please You and praise You from time to time.

I thank God for an experience for we moved to a city in Oz while we did everything ourselves without helper in there, but meant a lot for us. The quality of life experience that brought us mature in endurance, built our spirit and responsibility as parents, the ones who are learning them how to live with different people from many parts of the world. I know it was hard time, but You have let us went through it so we knew what our mission for kids according to Your ways. We learned in somewhat short time period, but meant a lot for us. We learned to read them sort of unlimited children’s books everyday reinforced by school and government there so that they’re finally getting used to read book every day. I even couldn’t handle them both of exuberantly interest of reading each day, particularly reading about Bible, I was amazed on what they were saying responding to the book I read. I thoughtfully comprehended with what God said of parable about kingdom is true. The kingdom of God belongs to such as these kids. And I know I’m in the process in learning them to be a perfect them not me. How exquisite God’s presents to us.

This is the song that my kids use to sing..:) I love it!

I LOVE MY SELF THE WAY I AM

I love myself the way I am,
there’s nothing I need to change.

I’ll always be the perfect me,
there’s nothing to rearrange.

I’m beautiful and capable,
of being the best me I can.

And I love myself,
just the way I am.

I love you the way you are,
there’s nothing you need to do.

When I feel the love inside,
it’s easy to love you.

Behind your fears, your rage and tears,
I see your shining star.

And I love you,
just the way your are.

I love the world the way it is,
cause I can clearly see.

That all the things I judge are done,
by people just like me.

So ’til the birth of peace on earth,
that only love can bring.

I’ll help it grow,
by loving everything.

I love myself the way I am,
and I still want to grow.

But change outside can only come,
when deep inside I know.

I’m beautiful and capable,
of being the best me I can.

And I love myself,
just the way I am

“Memories in Perth”

KL, 1st November 2013

Cause and Effect

God

God (Photo credit: iandavid)

Life is a mystery, people will face “up” and “down” through their life. We never know our future. What we do today is doing what we can grab and reach based on our heart feeling. I knew that I have changed since my vision was started to focus on Him.

Life is learning to live life itself. Some people somewhat agree with that opinion, some people ignore, some people move to face what the life offers without thinking what life is. Some people surrender and stay at the same pace. Some people ask why life is cruel while some people ask and learn how to encounter every single thing that matters them.

Feeling contended in every circumstance is one of number ways to accept everything God‘s gift to us.  However, lots of temptations from our flesh really obstacle us, either blaming this life or making our own decision to count on ourselves without God’s help.

Once I experienced lost something valuable and really important in my life. For me who believe in God, I asked God “why it was happening to me. Give me Your miracle so I am able to wonder of Your greatness. Why didn’t you answer me. You said everything impossible for human is possible for you, but why it’s never been appeared in my life. Part of my heart was telling me “Ooh does God exist? You can’t even prove it, be logic!”

Now I know that I don’t simply believe that kind of whisper. I know I’ve passed my level of experience, learnt life to the next step, no longer the same as I was being atheist. I’ve passed the level where I lost my way and was solely relying on my self. What I knew before, our mind was powerful than any other creatures and I was asking why people tended to be foolish  by God ism influence. I would rather adore the philosophers who were wiser than believed on something couldn’t be seen and couldn’t be proved the existence. Karl Marx was one of the great modern philosopher that was not having the same thought as people who believed in God, even through Socrates that was having an idea that there was ‘One’ that controls our destiny, I was disagree with it until I tried to seek the study research on my own thesis then I took a correlation between religion, physics  about universe, story of genesis, and everything related to God.

I knew people can’t be forced to believe in God until God Himself showed His mercy on them through their life. It was me who was found difficult person, broken because of what was happening in the past. However, I knew God had His own way to reach soul that really needed His grace.

On the contrary, now I even can’t imagine how people keep standing on themselves, while they know they have limitation. Why don’t we think in a big perspective on how great “someone” who created universe itself who held our destiny. People come and go, we even can’t predict what’s happening next and when is our death to come. Truly, we are just human being who always be anxious of the death coming closer without knowing where we are going to go after death. I dare to say, it’s better I trust on something beyond my mind, to the “one” whatever it is, but I knew there was caused makes something happens, a cause and an effect, alfa and omega than drift on something uncertain. We exist in this world because something created us. It was no longer caused by sun, mountain, universe (it was a belief of people long time ago though). Logically, do we need to worship “Him” who created us, created the sun, the moon, the universe, etc? We can’t say for sure before we accept it in faith in Him which makes us peace to go through our life. God is there when peacefulness is into one’s heart, then you can’t hardly believe how powerful He is in your life experience, as long as you go with “Him”.

KL, 28 October 2013

“I do!”

As always, my kids were begging me to read them a book before sleeping, however I was still doing things in the kitchen, tidying up mess, then grabbing shower for bathing though I should have read them book at that time. Time flew very fast, but in the tight time nearly bed, the time for kids, they were still begging me again to stay reading, pray then they could have slept peacefully. I was a bit frantic because the more they were waiting for me, the later they were sleeping. The result, they would have been late to school, and many more anxious thoughts.

Thank God, I had husband who understood, even in the restless, husband can replace a moment the mom’s job with kids. This was making my kids felt closer to their Dad and my husband too. He didn’t know how to read book well to kids, but he knew how to entertain our kids regardless his exhaustion of work, even without reading books he tried his own way to cheer up our kids. He didn’t know how to explain the story or brainstorming book with them, but his company was really a feeling of expectancy for them, especially when he got back home after work. He always brings something such bread, pencil, stationary even small things seem unimportant, but his presents will be awaited by my kids. He calls them by their name soon after he gets to the doorstep and saying “Hello guys! I’m coming…I have something for you!”I really like the way he loves his family. I learned from him too how to love my family though I didn’t know before how to be a good mom, I didn’t have real reflection of family completely in my background and my mind but I’ve finally known that what God had planned was right. Husband and wife are meant to be together forever till the end of time.

I know, he is not perfect in everything I hoped before, but he is everything in my life. He is not to be the right man I expect  when I need him to be, but he is his with all characters he has. Sometimes cheering up turns to be anger suddenly, because there’s something wrong according to his mind. Sometimes we have different perspective and quarrel each other. I know it’s a process to understand and to be understood. I tried to look up on the Bible verse about husband and wife, such as the story about Abigail, Proverb 31 and some other verses a lot more about wife. Eventually, I know that God gave husband as a head to manage a family, and sent wife  as a helping hand for husband and children in their life. Wife is supposed to obey her husband (means from the right conducts of husband according to Bible, as long as it is not in defiance of God’s commands). Once I knew that God had asked us to have good relationship with Him, and the second is our family then we serve others, or serve our family and others at the same time as long as our husband is allowing us to do both. Daily Prayer is very important as our protection to break down evil and everything hinders in marriage life.

According to God, there is no separation between husband and wife. Recited in Matt 19: 4:

For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?[c] So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate

I perceive that God had chosen husband and wife even before we lived. Indeed, it is quite long journey to learn how to be a good wife and husband according to God’s commands. Nevertheless,  we can’t believe that as the time goes by, the present we get from Him is perseverance, a heart that is trying to find God’s throne in every kind of circumstances whether good and bad, a heart which totally accepts every disappointment burdens us within marriage life. Thus, as we already know, husband, and children it selves are precious gift from above that we really need time and effort to preserve with unconditional love.

These words again remind me of our holy wedding vows in church that will be last forever in our marriage life:

(http://www.catholicweddinghelp.com/topics/catholic-wedding-vows.htm#sthash.vFPRXjpb.dpuf)

Priest: (Name), do you take (name) to be your wife? Do you promise to be true to her in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love her and honor her all the days of your life?

Groom: I do.

Priest: (Name), do you take (name) to be your husband? Do you promise to be true to him in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love him and honor him all the days of your life?

Bride: I do.

“I do love you!”

English: So called Husband and Wife trees at L...

English: So called Husband and Wife trees at Lynncraigs Farm, Dalry, North Ayrshire, Scotland. Tree species – Blackthorn. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

KL, 24th September 2013

Precious Bed Time Story

Last night I read a Bible story about a character of Esther to my 6-year son. I said “God had sent Esther to do God’s work. She tried to help God’s people, like you were sent to help people around you and try to be kind to everybody” and I was startled when He asked me back “Mama, where is God’s Office? In heaven?” As he pointed up on the ceiling. I couldn’t help my self laughing and said “Absolutely Ian! God is in heaven, heaven might be in your heart when you be kind to one another.” And He replied “so God is in my heart ??.” “Correct” I said.

Sometimes, we can’t predict what is inside our kid’s mind, but I believe the more we read them characters in Bible story by relating and adopting what’s happening around him or us, they will prevail as they grow with their mind according to their age. They will ponder and question about the world around them by reading books as a window to see out there that they didn’t know before. They are really captivated with the marvelous things and try to speak out what they see through some interesting pictures and articles.

I knew that my kid had speech delay and one year delay physically and mindfully as his pediatrician told me then he did get some therapy, but somehow I don’t believe that it will be a big deal in catching  up message by telling the story about morality, Bible story and any variety of books. Fascinatingly, as he knew that God was in his heart when he was in young age because of reading Bible, my son tried to relate every book I’ve read to him with the reflection of God, heaven, good and bad behaviors.

I always believe that every child is unique whoever he or she is. I suppose parents might dig their specialty and would find the wonderful ideas or mind from their kids. Occasionally, we are tempted to compare to other kids and restless thinking about our kids future. We fall on the feeling of anxiety wondering why our kids are not similar as others negatively.  However, I put on trust in God who created and refuged my kids and I believe the deep expectation of every mom’s prayer shall be heard by God, as long as it’s good and right according to Him.

I do not forget to close the conversation about the book with prayer to my kid, and he repeats after me every sentence I said that we thank God because we’ve learned about new things related to the book and pray His creation was right and just so we will keep maintain and preserve what He’d sent and made to us well. “I love you Ian! God always bless you !” as I kiss, hug him, and give him cross on his forehead after bed time story everyday…

Good Nite!

Told to the light 2

Stained glass at St John the Baptist's Anglica...

Stained glass at St John the Baptist’s Anglican Church http://www.stjohnsashfield.org.au, Ashfield, New South Wales. Illustrates Jesus’ description of himself “I am the Good Shepherd” (from the Gospel of John, chapter 10, verse 11). This version of the image shows the detail of his face. The memorial window is also captioned: “To the Glory of God and in Loving Memory of William Wright. Died 6th November, 1932. Aged 70 Yrs.” (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Hi Jesus..

 

Dunno what to say

 

I feel no power

 

If I remember the days I’ve passed through

 

Not realized that you were near

 

Something’s making me change

 

Dunno what kinda feeling this is

Missing the light of you

 

Remember my childhood dreaming

 

With you I touched the sky

 

You brought me flying within the clouds

 

No more fears inside

 

Against all powers in this world

 

You hugged me such in paradise

 

Dreaming in your dwelling

 

Felt safe in your embrace

 

God bring me up once again!

 

Till I feel ready

 

Touching the grayish of the ground

 

Meet many people and things you’re offering

 

Empower me….defeat all my fears

 

not mine

 

But yours…….

 

 

 

KL, June 12, 2007