Hopes…

Unforeseen Blessings

Unforeseen Blessings (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I like the title on my Blog, I feel fresh every time I read it, 3 words but magical words that turning me on every circumstance I feel in my life. Whenever I am down, count the blessings, whenever I am blissful, count the blessings, whenever I am anxious, count the blessings, whenever I am mad of the situation, count the blessings. We count the blessings that we have from God, we count every single thing that God gave. We count every blessing every tiny and small thing in our life that make us feel positive. If we feel blessed means we believe that God’s love is never ending. God will never give blessings only once in a lifetime, but His abundant love is dripping anytime whenever hope is impossible, whenever we’re lost or failed.

We were born safely into this world was a blessing. God even has  plan for us before we came into this world, every single day we got uncountable nourishment, love and affection from our parents, family, friends. We’re changing apparently, we’re growing up independently, we can take care our self, having relationship with others, we can serve others too, it’s not merely our strength, but His blessings are always working on us.

I understand people will feel abandoned by God in a period of time, I felt the same too. There’s a time I felt not feeling well, and what I could do just pray while I laid down on my bed, I even couldn’t lift up my hands, I couldn’t grab my Bible to look up His verses. I seems lees motivation when I was sick. It seems I was sinking in a dream that I even not realized whether I was in real life or not, especially with the big thought of problems I got. I was thinking of my kids that needed someone helping them out in their study for their exam, how was their meal, who was gonna take care of their uniform. I asked God for strength, but before that I tried to say thank that God has been so perseverance to me so far. I tried to remember the past when God’s helping hands around me where there was no hope, I tried to memorize things that I felt that  it was all God’s miracles on me to accumulate my strength to keep me believe in Him, so I could pray to Him with faith, instead of complaining of what He’s been offered on our life. Finally, I could find strength in Him to always believe in  Him so I can pray with faith and always be thankful to Him.

And what’s the next, as I read the book of Nick Vujicic “Unstoppable”, I really pondered more the power of faith in action. As we recognize that God gives His blessing onto us, is not only be there, but it is supposed to be put in action and practiced many many times. We pray in faith, and do what we believe. Sometimes we feel I don’t believe something we can’t see, but we have witnessed His wonderful miracles in plenty occasions in our life in the past. It had tested us to put trust on His great love. Same as Nick Fujicic parents, they grieved for the perfectly formed child they’d envisioned but didn’t receive. But they gave up their attempts to understand why God had given them such a child without limbs. Instead, they surrendered to His plan, whatever it might be, and what they could do is raising him as the best they could with love, because they know God’s love in their life. The result was amazing, Nick Fujicic has grown up and he finally becomes a great author and motivational speaker that God had planned for Him through situation seemed unwanted for normal people could receive, but never impossible for Him to open the world’s eyes looking for hope and achievement in this life, especially through hardship or difficult situation.

We need to focus not on our problem but put our vision on Him, so we can see the lights of hope that leads us to an open door. Whatever life may offer you or whatever difficult the situation is, just surrender to Him, put your trust on Him. Don’t forget to recall His blessings since you came into this world until present time. You’ll know that God really loves you, always be with you, and you’ll never be alone because there’s always a hope in God, our Creator.

God Bless You!

KL, Dec 10, 2013

 

 

 

 

 

 

He Has Planned It before You Know…..

I don’t know how to start, though there are a lot of things that I wanna talk about, but indeed I feel my skills of English writing are not better than before. I have nothing to do on my desk. Perhaps it’s just excuse to blame many cases caused me like this. I had a dream that I would take master of philosophy someday. I had a dream I would give lecture to my students in university. I had a dream going overseas, or majoring in English or in philosophy there before. But it decreased slowly since I got married. Then I supposed that it would be removed soon in marriage. Before I got married him I have worked in a school trying to step a new career as a teacher, but somehow I just felt that however the utmost dream and career that a woman has, she has to follow her husband wherever he goes, I certainly wanted to get a job. Suddenly I felt disappointed thinking that I was no longer availing for a woman’s dignity as a pride. I was no longer making money and was being looked down I felt by some people behind my husband. Then working as a mother looking after babies that hindered me from things I really appreciated my life before. I was desperately bored with these kinda circumstances. Why as I was climbing up each step, I fell down two steps even more. I was trying to pursue strength each day since I was a little girl.

Once there was a Life in the Spirit Seminar that my friend invited me, It was like a retreat and seminar, that was all I knew before. They might be talking about how to do the right. I was thinking that this was just a crap, but I still joined I was thinking there was something gonna blow my mind or I would even criticize them. When I was attending the first and the second meeting of ‘the Life in the Spirit Seminar’, it gave me a bunch thought in my mind. Specifically, I noted down from both meeting that Jesus loves me since I was child through mother, father, brothers, friends and now through my husband. Whatever my husband is, God always gives His loves through him. When we would be there in the third meeting, I was so upset with my digestive system before I was going to the seminar. We finally came late though we were reluctant to show up and there we were to attend the seminar. I listened to the speaker telling about her broken family that was almost similar with my background reminded me to the lost link in the past.

It was hard to remember about the past but I just thought that there was a lot of burden I piled up. But I had to reveal them up towards God, I don’t know how to continue this while my heart’s supposed to bury the memory of my childhood with no mother even let me drown on what she said that I didn’t belong to her, I then mingled by shimmering world for reaction of refusing myself, or perhaps finding a relish that also mocked me down to the sin, trying to find the truth who I am. Till I’d promised to omit the past and began with my own endurance to strive between poverty, resentment, lost identity, that led to the ignoring of God, accused of anything He gave, pretended that no one care about myself except I myself. I ought to stand on myself. Oh I’m fed up with this kinda’ circumstances that are trying to snatch my heart into the gloom, to scratch deeply till I’m dying of mercy. Don’t know whose mercy….but the other part inside of me saying better get drunk and those will vanish with their own way but…Don’t!!!

Hence, the Life in the Spirit Seminar in church has stepped me up to the difference stance of this life, revealing another forgotten part of this world that I’d ever been running it before. Eventually, I knew that He really loves me, I believed that turning point was God has been working in me. He’s been digging my past & revealing it gradually became new revelation to what I live for, what is the purpose I live. Since that time I knew that God doesn’t promise to remove all struggles, and God had designed our life uniquely, as the bridge to carry us to joy. Sometimes what looks miserable at first glance is the fruit of God’s most exquisite gift……so I lift up a pray onto Him ”God I belongs to you, just work on me according to your plan”

As recited in Psalm 23:

The LORD is my shepherd,
I shall not want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters.

He restores my soul;
He guides me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You have anointed my head with oil;
My cup overflows.

Surely goodness and loving kindness will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever

I always remember even through the deep valley of life, that God is always be there with me, trying to pull me out of the valley through everyone around us. Eventually, my heart could be able to reconcile with the past…..and I realized that he has planned our life wonderfully before we know…..for His glory….and for us…..

Jakarta, 14 February 2006

The Lord is my Good Shepherd

The Lord is my Good Shepherd (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Doesn’t make sense…..

One day, my friend asked me “Why your God seems doesn’t make any sense, there are, father, son and the spirit” Mmmh This was a question that always be asked, but maybe lots of information he got but maybe he didn’t understand it. I didn’t blame him.

Supposed that we are asked “Do you think that there will be a friend who wants to die for you?

Probably some people said No, but few said Yes, I said Yes as well. I said yes because the only one who can do it is Jesus. He’s done it for me because he is a good shepherd wanna die for his sheep. I am one of his sheep, I belong to him as it’s said in John 10:14-15:

I am the good shepherd as my Father knows me and I know my Father, in the same way I know my sheep and they know me and I’m willing to die for them.“

The crucifixion of Jesus showed me that he is a good shepherd who wants to die to redeem our sins. But it seems nonsense for worldly people as it was said in Bible (John 10:25)

Jesus answered, “I have already told you, but you wouldn’t believe me. The deeds I do by my Father’s authority speak on my behalf; but you will not believe, for you are not my sheep. My sheep listen to my voice; I know them and they follow me. Give them eternal life, and they shall never die. No one can snatch them away from me. What my Father given is greater than everything and no one can snatch them away from Father’s care. The Father and I are one

I believe in You Jesus, coz you want to die for me, and Your crucifixion as a symbol of our life. We should bring our cross along this life but we never be alone because You’re always be with us. It makes me comfort, coz I have friend that always be with me who always help me to go through this life.

I just said a parable to my friend:

How many email address do you have?” I asked.

“Three”

“Would you mention what each email is purposed for?”

“The first for my personal relation, second for my outside business relation and the third for my colleagues”

“Ohh that’s great, all are only yours, isn’t it? That’s such how the Father be…”

Maybe he didn’t understand it or didn’t want but I hope he did…Yes but if I was asked “Why your God is being like that (in three individuals)”

I said “I don’t know” and I’ll site as in Bible:

“Such a person really does not understand them, and They seem to be nonsense, because Their value can be judged only in spiritual basis. Whoever has the Spirit, however, is able to judge the value of everything, but no one is able to judge him. As the scripture says,

“Who knows the mind of the Lord?”

Even God Himself is nonsense for everybody. Who knows the mind of the Lord? Lord can make things impossible for worldly people become possible for Him, that our mind cannot measure it, because He is greater than anything. We’re only the smallest thing of the universe, while He is greater than universe itself….

In my heart I said : “It was not the glorious world or gold you redeemed us, but with your loves and sacrifice, how can I not love and follow you God”

“O Lord I’m all yours!”

 

KL, June 15, 2007

 

Serenity

Kadang aku memahami tentang tujuan hidup, namun semakin aku menyelami, semakin tak kupahami tujuan hidup sebenarnya. Ada banyak sisi dunia yang berbeda, jika kau memandang sisi pertama kau akan memahami, namun jika kau memandang keduanya, kau akan heran, betapa hidup ini tak kaupahami.

 

Pada saat kau tak memiliki apa-apa kau akhirnya paham betapa susah payahnya kita melangkah bahkan untuk berdiripun tak mampu, Namun pada saat kau memiliki semuanya, dunia seakan menenggelamkan kita untuk menikmati semua yang kita mau. Betapa nikmatnya dunia itu sampai-sampai aku merasa bosan melihatnya. Adakah diri sendiri yang mampu menentukan diri, tanpa terkalahkan oleh pesonanya?

 

Dibalik mobilitas modern kita tak mampu bergerak, menggerakkan pikiran atau melihat sisi dunia yang lain. Teruslah berpesta sampai akhirnya kau bosan, dan akupun merasakannya. Lalu apa yang kuinginkan? Mengapa kita selalu tidak puas? Adakah sesuatu yang membuat kita tenang dan nyaman yang tak kunjung hilang? Namun saat kumelihat sisi dunia lain dimana setiap butir nasi yang kita biarkan sangat dirindukan oleh mata-mata yang lapar, bak Lazarus dengan pakaian yang robek dan lusuh menanti jatuhnya setiap butir-butir nasi dan tetesan air yang jatuh di meja sebuah restoran, namun yang ia dapatkan hanya tendangan kemarahan dari pemilik restoran atau mengingat saudaraku yang tak mampu untuk membeli pakaian dengan gajinya yang hanya 400.000 perak bahkan untuk makan mungkin kekurangan, dan mungkin ada beribu manusia yang lebih kekurangan.

 

Namun kadang kita menggunakan topeng untuk terlihat baik atau terlihat buruk, apakah yang terlihat menentukan karakter tiap kita? Saat  ini aku hanya bisa bercermin pada diriku berusaha sekuat mungkin untuk menjadi diriku dan berusaha mengingat ada kehidupan lain yang ingin seperti kita…..

Betapa bahagianya jika memperhatikan seseorang yang mungkin bagi orang lain tidak pantas dan layak,

mungkin aku tak lagi bertanya jika hidupku terus dipenuhi olehnya…….

 

KL, June 25, 2007

 

All Yours

Today as I read in Corinthians 6-7:

“None of you should be proud of one person and despise another. Who made you superior to others? Didn’t God give you every thing you have? Well, then, how can you boast, as if what you have were not a gift?”

Seeing my life today, as it goes as it flows seems to me nothing genuine I catch for and entering another life with full of glamorous people making ones said who they are, and it’s immersing me on the shimmering world.  Then the verse reminds me: ”Who am I to boast myself? And “Where are all these things coming from?” And all of my days I should’ve to smack me on the vertical matters like we see on peddlers or vendors out there. The circumstance like I used to, out of breath and I could’t move moreover at the end of the month. I remember some bug eyed on me as I didn’t do as they wanted. While I thought of my pocket was flat broke and I was sitting as a nutty person that should go on my life forwards. Perhaps some people thought I’m imbecile and I used to get it, and I won’t fight though I really wanted. In my heart says that one day they’ll know it….then it come true, I’ve felt on the top of the world that time but that verse always reminds me as I read Bible such right now. Seems He wanna tell me not to be mingled with worldly impulse coz everything I have and everything I get right now are all Yours, and not to be proud and boast of my self because I’m all nothing without You…..

 

KL, June 27, 2007

 

Pursuit of Meaning

Seems hundred of days even months since my absence in contemplation about life and small valuable things in life spewed me out from the general life that blinded me down. Perhaps silly words wouldn’t meet a real meaning, but those witnesses are much better than scum of magnificent life, meaningless for people who thirst of conscience and enlightenment. However, both meaning and meaninglessness of life are the true parts of common figure adhered to the one who’s never been out from up and down circumstances of the outlandish world God’s created as well.

I was quite impressed with a friend who titled her Blog ‘flowing with God’, and it’s inspiring me to the truth condition of people in the hands of God beside their power themselves. However, who they are that can’t even survive from their last death.  They’re just a piece of dried wooden pile flowing in God’s river.

There’s no reference from Bible….this is what I am….still going thru, with the worse of mine achieving the light according to my vision, don’t know what it is, but I feel harmony with the words “flowing with God”. Perhaps each person has his different perspective about this life, it depends on him, either do I.

One tough day, a learning driver finds it difficult to learn ‘how to control a car’ with some trained people inside the car, some say “overly right!”, “watch out!” others say “brake!” or many other different screams that all are initially right but confusing. The trained people reflect life. Life’s full of diversity indeed and as when nobody with him, only him. Nobody he can ask, and he instinctively followed his heart with entire sense and ability to a place where he must go and not smooth along the way though he’s begun handy on it….That’s what ‘I am doing now in my whole life’.

 

KL, February 3, 2008